The Longest Autumn

Some endings don't arrive with screams. They arrive with signatures. And every end is a new beginning. 

Three Months Later

The morning sun was still struggling to get out from the curtains of clouds but it was taking longer than expected. Last night it rained heavily so the weather was pleasant, no one wanted to leave their cosy beds and peaceful slumber but in one room of the Rizwi Mansion an alarm started ringing.

Sharp 5:30 am and he stepped out from the bed. A quick freshen up, and walked towards the main door after picking up a small bag on his arm.

The cold wind was watching the disciplined guy hitting the gym. 

50 push-ups followed by Squats & Lunges then Chest Press. The small towel hanging in his chest was soaking his sweat but his face wasn't showing a single sign of tiredness. Soon his smartwatch started making an unpleasant beeping sound which grabbed his attention. He had already spent one hour in the gym. Completing his training today, he walked back home. The next destination was the office. Without any break or post gym rest he was getting ready for the office. Standing in front of the mirror he set his hair when a sleepy voice came from the doorstep. 

“Danish, you're not the gatekeeper of the office.” Said Maizah in a hushed tone, while stepping into his room.

“How many times I have to tell you to not wake up early in the morning to make my breakfast.” He said without seeing her, his attention was captured by a presentation in his laptop. 

“Tumhara abba theek hai, late office jaane wala achha aadmi, tum kaha se aa gye hamare ghar me?" Maizah grimaced but walked out from the room leaving Danish with a faint smile. Till a few days ago he was also a achha aadmi (nice man) but to make himself too busy he picked the path of a bura aadmi (bad man). 

(Your father is better. A good man who goes late to the office. How can you be our son?)

Being busy was much better than being sad all the time.

Time has its own silent healing mechanism, it doesn't heal the wound overnight but get you buried under the pressure of everyday life so that you can breathe freely for a while.

The old walls of Rizwi Mansion were witnessing the same healing mechanism of the time. Everything was changing—slowly, silently and little by little.

In Danish's room mornings weren't coming with a haunting silence anymore, they came with an energetic voice of alarm and a new goal for every single day. In the last three months he broke down many times and each time he pushed himself harder towards a goal to overcome this pinching silence inside him. Sometimes it was office work, sometimes a bodybuilding motivation and sometimes nothing but a pledge to give up on cigarettes. 

"Danish, your breakfast." Maizah said while entering into the room holding a tray in her hand which was showing two boiled eggs, one slice of bread with a namesake touch of butter and a mug of steaming hot coffee. 

"Thank you mumma but you really don't need to make me breakfast. Why don't you keep sleeping? I don't like to trouble you," Danish closed his laptop before packing it into a laptop bag and moved towards the coffee table where Maizah placed the tray.  

"Who will look after you if not your mother?" She sat opposite to him who was lifting the very first bite. “But one thing can be done—" Maizah's voice was full of hope, Danish didn't look up, all he couldn't see was a perfect breakfast present in front of him.

“Hmm… what's that?" No energy. No happiness. Just formality with a 100 per cent responsible tone.

"Shadi kar lo, apni biwi ke sath nashta karna, main araam se sooti rahungi.” Maizah tried to speak with enthusiasm but couldn't. Danish heard each and every word but behaved as if his mother said not a single word.

(Her married, you'll be having breakfast with your wife and I'll be sleeping peacefully.)

"Danish?” After getting no response from him she muttered.

"Yeah mumma?" 

“I have shortlisted a few girls for you." She informed and Danish nodded without looking at her, now he was sprinkling salt and crushing pepper on the boiled eggs."One of them is extremely beautiful and she is about to complete MBA. She is the eldest daughter of the family so she knows the art of being responsible and sensible. Just like you. I'm sure she will be a great match for you." Maizah stopped for a moment and watched her son, waiting for a reply but got none. He was having an egg and taking a sip of unsweetened coffee.

“Danish?" 

“Yeah Mumma?" He looked up for a moment. 

“I'm saying something." Maizah was disappointed 

“Hmm, I am everything.” He was again focused on breakfast. Having the last sip of coffee. 

"But not bothering to reply?”

"Kya bolu main? Aapne kaha mene sun liya." 

(What may I say in reply? I heard everything you said.) 

"Main tumhare rishte ki baat karne jaa rhi hu, mil loge un logo se aur ladki se?” Maizah asked and Danish gave her a long stare then shook his head while standing up. 

(I am going to talk about your marriage proposal, will you meet those people and the girl?)

“No,” his reply was clear.

“Reason?" 

“Main kisi ladki ko shadi ke naam par bandh nhi sakta jab tak mera dil us rishte ke liye tayyar na ho. Aur please ye na kahiyega ki shadi ke baad mohabbat ho jayegi… nhi hoti mohabbat shadi ke baad bhi." He didn't utter the last part clearly but Maizah understood the condition of her son's heart. 

(I cannot tie a girl in the name of marriage until my heart is ready for this relationship. And please don't say that love will happen after marriage… love does not happen after marriage either.)

She knew the wound was not healed yet, but she was satisfied, at least Danish wasn't doing any harm to himself. He was becoming a well scheduled robot still trying to maintain a good and healthy life. 

Danish wore his black formal footwear then walked out of the room, she silently followed him to the stairs. He crossed the hallway and was about to open the door when the door was opened by someone from the outside. For a moment both were surprised, but soon without looking at each other they passed through the door. 

From where Danish got the courage to avoid glancing at the face he used to adore? Maizah was clueless. But she has been witnessing it for the last few months. 

On the other hand, Fayra turned to see him for the briefest moment. 

Not because she wanted to stop him.

Not because she expected him to look back.

Just because somewhere inside her heart, she had once memorised the sound of those footsteps in childhood. When she used to wait for her Danish bhai to come back from the school so that he could bring popsicle and chocolates for her. 

Now they walked past each other as though they were strangers. He didn't want to get Danish as a husband but she didn't wish to get away from his biggest supporter. 

Well, that's how life plays games. 

Some relationships don't end with hatred.

They simply lose the right to exist.

The main door closed behind Danish with a soft click.

Fayra inhaled slowly before forcing herself to move towards the living room and her gaze went to Maizah standing in the middle of the stairs. She was about to go back when a voice stopped her. 

"Badi Mumma." It had been three months since Anzala and Maizah didn't talk to Fayra in the same way they used to talk. They were avoiding Fayra as much as possible. If she walks into a room where Anzala was already present, he makes sure to walk away and Maizah didn't dare to go against Anzala's decision when he was taking a stand for their son. This behaviour was hurting Fayra deeply, but she did not make an issue out of this. 

"Yeah?" Maizah asked not rudely, but there was tiredness hidden beneath that flat face.

“You didn't even ask me about my result. You didn't even appreciate me joining the business." Fayra stepped closer to her Aunty who had loved her just like a daughter since childhood. 

"I would appreciate every achievement of yours but what you did with Danish wasn't appreciable. He loved you from all his heart and soul.” The mother was deeply hurt for her only son, his love was above Fayra's achievements.

“Badi mumma, at least you try to understand me. I have saved him from a loveless marriage. Now at least he has a chance to move on, otherwise he would be dying from inside witho…” before Fayra could complete the sentence Maizah waved the topic away. 

“Leave it. Beating the dead horse won't make any difference. I wish happiness and success for both of you.” Maizah said with a narrow smile, but she was truly happy to see Fayra looking after her mother who was slowly recovering. 

"Aren’t you supposed to go to the office?" Maizah asked and Fayra nodded but taking a step ahead she held Maizah's hand. 

“Badi Mumma." 

"Hmm."

"Dad is hating me. I know.” Fayra muttered, she used the word Dad for Anzala after a long time. In childhood she used to call Maizah Mumma and Anzala was Dad, just like their own children used to call them. 

"He doesn't hate anyone, he's just hurt to see Danish's devastation.” 

"Fayraaaa~” a loud call from Adnaan grabbed Fayra's attention and she smacked her forehead. 

"Badi Mumma, papa asked me to pack his laptop bag and brief him about some papers… I forget it.” And she ran downstairs. 

Maizah watched Fayra disappear into Adnaan's bedroom.

For a long moment she kept staring at the dull walls, lifeless articles and disheartened furniture of the hall.

Once, this house echoed with laughter whenever Danish and Fayra were under the same roof.

Now fate had timed their routines so perfectly that they rarely crossed paths.

Perhaps it was easier this way.

Perhaps Allah was showing mercy to both wounded hearts.

She sighed and whispered under her breath,

"Ya Allah... dono ko sukoon aur khushiyan ata farma."

(Ya allah bless both of them with peace and happiness)

<><><>

Fayra joined the office only ten days ago. Adnaan wanted to give her some important role but he doubted his daughter's potential, eventually giving her under the assistance of Afnaan. He was sure his younger brother would handle Fayra well but little did he know what her daughter did inside the cabin with her Chamu (younger uncle). 

Other than sending and receiving a few emails she did nothing! Afnaan didn't give her any difficult task, he had been treating her like a princess just like he had been doing ever since. 

On the other side of the office a man was dealing with too many files present in his laptop, removing his specs he sighed and stood up. 

Time to test his daughter's potential. 

Taking slow steps towards Afnaan’s cabin he stopped for a while to glance at the staff members and workers. 

“Hurry up guys, this is the era of AI, half of the work can be done by just a prompt. What's stopping you from completing the task before the deadline? Increments are waiting for you according to your performance." With a little motivation he walked ahead and as soon as the cabin door swung open, Adnaan's eyes widened. 

"What's this?” he asked his younger brother then again looked at Fayra. She was reclining on the couch, scrolling reels. 

“Umm… actually papa… I was so tired… I just took a break.” Fayra muttered lazily while sitting with a straight back and Adnaan glared at his younger brother. 

"Bhai bachhi hai. Thak gyi thi, mene hi kaha tha kuch dair araam karne ke liye." Afnaan justified Fayra's little rest but Adnaan glared at both of them. 

(Bhai, she is just a newbie. She was tired, and I was the one who told her to rest for a while.)

"Isi umar ki do aur bachhiyan bahar intern ki post par kaam kar rhi hain, wo nhi thakti? Unhe rest nhi diya tumne kabhi?" 

(Two interns of the same age are sitting outside working unstoppable. Aren't they tired? Why don't you give them a break?)

“Bhai? She is your own daughter." Afnaan defended Fayra. 

“Outside the office. Inside the office she is just an ordinary intern. And you're incapable of handling an intern." Adnaan was enraged at his younger brother. “And you Miss Fayra, from now on you're going to report me. You will report to me at sharp 9 am, and will not go back home till I let you go.” Adnaan almost roared at her. When did he shout at her? She never witnessed this side of her father. 

“Papa?" Fayra's eyes filled with tears. 

"Sir, not papa. I'm not your father until we're in office premises.” Adnaan roared again, his voice was audible outside the cabin. Almost all employees got to know that the boss was yelling at his daughter. Fayra wiped away her tears with the back of her palm and walked out of the cabin while crying miserably. 

“Bhai hadd kar di hai aapne. Abhi abhi business join kara hai usne, dheere dheere adat ho jayegi, itna gussa hone ki kya zarurat hai bachhi par? Aap jaante hain na wo ghar jaa ke bhi araam nhi karti, Sara ki khidmat me lagi rehti hai. Kuch dair yaha soo jaati to kya ho jaata? Aap aur main kyu kaam kar rhe hain? Taaki apne bachho ko sukun ki zindagi de sake. Unse sukun chhen lene ka kya fayda?” Afnaan was disappointed in his brother but Adnaan's grief stricken eyes looked towards the door from which Fayra left just a few moments ago. He couldn't see tears in his daughter's eyes and today he made her cry, intentionally. Adnaan closed his eyes while removing the specs and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

(Bhai, you are overreacting. She just joined the business and will learn gradually. Why get so angry at her? You know she doesn't even rest at home because she is busy taking care of Sara. What is the harm if she sleeps here for a bit? Why are we even working? To give our kids a peaceful life. What is the point of ruining their peace?)

“What do you think, I don't know all these things?” wearing the specs again Asaan asked. This time his voice was soft, full of pain. “Sara ki aesi halat dekh ke mujhe pehli baar dar gaya hai Afnaan, zindagi ka bharosa nhi hai, agar mujhe kuch ho gya to kon sambhalega Fayra ko? Use main itna mazbut banana chahta hu ki bade se bade feysle khud kar le, meri, tumhari ya kisi ki bhi mohtaaj na rhe. Kabhi kabhi mazbut banane ke liye besahara banana padta hai.” 

(Seeing Sara like this has terrified me for the first time, Afnaan. Life is uncertain. If something happens to me, who will look after Fayra? I want to make her strong enough to make her own big decisions, independent of me, you, or anyone. Sometimes, to make someone strong, you have to leave them helpless.)

“I'm afraid, or what if this strictness broke her even more?”

"This change is needed to make her better. She thinks the only difficult task is to make money. But no." Adnaan shrugged. “Keeping ten employees happy, negotiating with clients, paying salaries on time, handling delayed payments and still smiling at the end of the day… That is difficult. And I want her to learn this. I want her to understand the complexities and ways to do business. So it's better to take away the shield from her.” Adnaan didn't say anything and his brother gave him a nod. 

<><><>

Enough of my tolerance….

I'm tired now. Bye. 

Good night.